When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace - Sri Chinmoy Ghose
the first 30 minutes are fairly boring but Parts I and II are really something you've got to watch. If you care enough, you'll take the time to watch this. I took the time and I'm glad I did. If you are a sensitive Christian,please skip the first part. Leave a comment after watching.
It's going to be almost a year now since my brother left for his job. I actually really miss him so much na. Kahit na hindi naman talaga kame magkasama sa isang bahay kahit noong mga bata pa kame. He grew up with my lola but still we remain close. He has always been the big brother na talaga namang sinusunod namin. Kahit na sa kalokohan. hahaha. Diba ganun naman talaga mga kuya? hehehe. Kaya siguro mas namimiss ko sya. When our father died last year, he said na buti na lang strong kame ng sister ko kung hindi, hindi na nya alam ang gagawin at baka hindi na rin sya nakaalis. Anyway, I just want to impart na I admire him and that I find his life very inspiring. He has been through a lot. And I witnessed some of his major decisions in life. Decisions na would really turn his life 360 degrees. Graduate sya ng isang magandang unibersidad sa Pilipinas, maganda ang trabaho, maraming kaibigan, marami nang napuntahan. Pero kailan lang, sumulat siya ng isang blog, sinabi nya na hanggang ngayon, clueless pa rin sya kung saan at kung ano ang papatunguhan ng buhay nya. Included din dun ang mga bagay na natutunan nya sa buhay nya.
Sa pagkakabasa ko ng blog nya na yun, parang bigla akong natahimik at napaisip. Kasi karamihan sa mga sinulat niya ay totoo naman talaga. Sa pagbasa ko rin ng blog nya na yun, nalaman ko ang mga bagay na hindi na nya sinasabi sa amin. And most importantly, naintindihan ko at nakilala ko pa ang kanyang pagkatao. Which made me say na he is really a strong person. Marami akong hindi alam tungkol sa kanya. Pero sa palagay ko, hindi ko kailangan na malaman pa yun. Sabi nga nya: There are things that are better left unsaid but to oneself. Tama naman diba? Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, dapat alam ng lahat at mayrong may alam. Kung minsan kase, dun pa tayo napapahamak. That's thingking. Sabi pa nya: Friends are always useful, useless or users. Right, eh? Tama diba? diba?... hmmm... And lastly: Always give your best kahit na minsan feeling mo kulang pa rin. Basta gawin mo ng maayos.
These are the things na I admire about my kuya. Hindi sya madaldal na tao tungkol sa sarili nyang buhay pero pagnagsalita siya, tiyak sensible at kakapulutan mo ng aral. Masarap tignan at i-admire ang isang tao kapag alam niya sa sarili niya na hindi sya perpekto. Na tao lang siya at nagkakamali. At mula sa mga pagkakamali na 'yon, natututo siya. Nakakatulong para maging better na tao siya. Hindi naman din natin kailangan magyabang, hintayin na lang natin na purihin tayo ng mga tao sa kung ano ang nakikita nila.
Hindi ko alam why I'm writing you this letter pero last na to.Sabi kase nila kailangan nahahawakan mo ang pain para mapakawalan mo. I guess eto yung way ko para tuluyan na pakawalan lahat ng sakit at tuluyan ng makamove on. When you said na wala ka ng nararamdaman eh masakit talaga pero at least diba naging honest ka...and nakatulong yun para tuluyan na ako maglet go. Aaminin ko nasaktan ako ng sobra...nagalit ako sa ginawa mo pero hindi sayo...I never hated you.
Before pag naaalala kita eh masakit, malungkot...hindi ko nga kaya tingnan yung mga photos natin dati. Pero ngayon ok na...pag naaalala kita hindi na masakit...nagagawa ko na uli ngumiti, nakakapag edit na ako uli ng mga photos.
Diba sabi ko sayo everything happens for a reason and totoo 'yun. When you left marami akong na-realize and at the same time marami ring doors ang nagbukas na hindi ko napapansin before. And alam mo ba...dati hirap na hirap ako patawarin yung ginawa mo pero sabi ko hindi ako tuluyan makakamove on kung hindi ko patatawarin un nangyari...And now gusto ko sabihin na pinapatawad ko na yun ginawa mo. Ang tagal ko pinagpray na sana bigyan ako ni Lord ng lakas loob para masabi yan at ngayon nararamdaman ko napatawad ko na lahat ng nangyari.
Gabi-gabi kasama ka pa rin sa prayers ko...Gusto ko kase ma-achieve mo rin lahat ng dreams mo...Alam ko kase kung gaano mo ka-mahal ang family mo.
Hindi ko alam kung magkikita pa tayo uli pero gusto ko lang malaman mo na naging pinakamasaya ako nung panahong dumaan ka sa buhay ko. Dati sabi ko sayo kakalimutan kita pati yung mga memories natin pero hindi totoo 'yun...Paano ko makakalimutan ang taong kagaya mo? Binago mo ako without you even knowing it and lagi kita pasasalamatan dahil dyan.
And gusto ko rin mag sorry sa lahat ng nagawa ko...sa lahat ng sakit na binigay ko sayo at sa lahat ng tears...Sana na-forgive mo na rin ako.
Hindi ko man nasabi sayo agad pero alam ko naramdaman mo na minahal kita...
And I want you to keep this photo...nagustuhan mo 'to diba? Binibigay ko na 'to sayo. Ito lang ang mabibigay ko para sa lahat ng magandang bagay na nagawa mo sa buhay ko. Pag nakikita ko ang larawan ko na to eh ikaw ang naaalala ko...
Dahil ang pag-ibig ay parang isang ibon...hindi mo sya maaaring ikulong o pigilang lumipad...dahil nanaisin nito ang maging malaya at lumipad muli sa kalangitan. Kaya kagaya ng isang ibon hinahayaan na kitang lumipad uli at hanapin ang kaligayahan mo.
Sana makita mo na ang hinahanap mo dahil I know you deserve to be happy...as in really really happy. Kung sakaling magtagpo man uli ang landas natin sana Yes na ang sagot mo sa lagi kong tanong sayo kung happy ka nga ba...as in really really happy.
Salamat sa lahat. Salamat sa mga panahong pinangiti mo ako. Salamat sa mga panahong hinayaan mo akong mahalin ka. Salamat sa pagbabahagi ng iyong buhay sa akin kahit sandali.
************************************************ Hayaan mo sabihin na Mahal kita kahit sa huling pagkakataon.
Kanina nakausap ko ang isang kaibigan at tinanong nya ako kung bakit "NAKAKASILAW NA BULALAKAW" ang pangalan ng aking pahina. Maganda ang kanyang katanungan. Sya ang unang taong nagtanong sa akin nyan.
Marahil iniisip ninyo na ang pangalan na ito ay patungkol sa akin subalit hindi..ito ay patungkol para sa isang magandang binibini na aking minahal. Para sa isang nakakasilaw at mailap na bulalakaw na minsa'y aking nasumpungan.
Mahilig akong tumingala sa kalangitan at pagmasdan ang kagandahan ng mga bituin. Akala ko nung gabing nakilala ko sya ay katulad lang rin ng mga nagdaang gabi subalit hindi...Dumaan sya sa kalangitan na madalas kong tinitingala. Nakakasilaw ang kanyang liwanag na nagawa nya makuha ang aking atensyon, na ngawa nya ako mapahanga, na nagawa nya bigyan ng liwanag ang madilim na kalangitan na lagi kong pinagmamasadan.
Sa isang iglap napa ibig nya ako.
At gaya ng isang bulalakaw tuwing makikita mo hindi mo maiwasan mo na gumawa ng hiling. Hindi nya alam na sa pagdaan nya gumawa rin ako ng munting kahilingan...hiling na sana'y wag nya lilisanin ang aking kalangitan. Isang hiling na alam kong imposibleng mangyari. Dahil ang bulalakaw ay dumadaan lang ng napakabilis...ni hindi mo mamalayan ang kanyang paglisan.
Kung gaano kabilis ang kanyang pagdating sa aking buhay ganon rin naging kabilis ang naging kanyang paglisan.Unti-unti nawala ang kinang na kanyang pinakita...hanggang sa tuluyan na itong naglaho.
Subalit kahit naging ganon kabilis ang kanyang pagdaan...alam ko nagustuhan ko ang kinang na pinakita nya.
Sapat na yun para bigyan nya ng liwanag ang aking kalangitan.
Gabi-gabi tumitingala pa rin ako sa langit..umaasa na baka makita muli ko ang kanyang liwanag subalit hindi ko ito masilayan.
At sa patuloy kong pagtingala hindi ko maiwasan marinig ang awiting ito...Naaalala mo ba ang awitin na yan? Yan ang awit na narinig kong nung gabing dumaan ka. At mula ng gabing iyon alam ko na...hindi ka isang simpleng bulalakaw lang. Ikaw ang pinakamakinang at nakakasilaw na bulalakaw na aking nakita.
Sa sobrang liwanag mo nga nabulag ako... naniwala at umasa ako na baka sakaling hindi ka mawawala sa aking kalangitan...subalit mali ako.
At ngayon ko lang naunawaan na kailanma'y hindi kita maangkin dahil ikaw ay nabibilang sa langit samantalang akoy naandito sa lupa at tumitingala lamang sayo...sa kalangitan na noo'y inakala kong akin.
************************************* Ito ay para sa pinakamakinang at pinakakasilaw na bulalakaw na aking minahal.
i drown because i feel you don't want me around so i scream deaf from the wrath and the infinite sound still i drown as i fear you don't mind that i scream lost in the warmth of the shell that i found empty and silent from the pain and the infinite sound will it matter if i drown i feel you don't want me... ...around
I was listening to David Archuleta's rendition of the song "When You Believe" and it somehow inspired me to write something. I don't know really what to write. But something inside me was moved in a way I can't explain that's why, now, I'm seriously typing my thoughts. Word per word. Faith is believing on something even though you have no concrete proof that THAT something does exist. I believe on lots of things even if there is no basis on these beliefs. But that doesn't concern me. For example, I believe that there is a Supreme God who is constantly watching over me. Although I haven't seen Him, I know that He is really indeed, with me, at all times. I have faith in Him. The same is true with miracles. but what are miracles really? Things that are so extraordinary it surpasses our human understanding. We can't explain miracles because they are somehow mysteries, undefined, the way we are not really using more than half of our brain (so what's those part for?). Back to the main topic, miracles are happening all around us, whether we believe it or not. It maybe something un-miracle-like. It maybe so simple we let it pass for something ordinary when in fact it's something so marvelous. I've written in my past blogs that I've started seeing the world in a whole new different light. I'm feeling less bored and less suicidal. And I think, while thinking of it now (what the hell is that?), it's a miracle. It's something extraordinary. Coz really, how did my perspective changed in just a blink of an eye when I'm doing nothing to change it consciously. It just started, just like that (*snaps fingers*). It really is magnificent. Something that is beyond my own understanding (do you understand how that happened? tell me if you do!). With the advances science is having right now, I'm sure there are lots of people out there who will attempt to explain what I experienced. They will be armed with scientific studies and proofs and facts that will explain human consciousness and how the brain works and personalities and all that stuff. I studied them too. I know more or less the basics about it. I am a seeker of knowledge (or I think I am). I wanted people to rationalize what I've gone through, but something is telling me, that no matter how many explanations I hear, my belief that what happened is a miracle will still prevail. I guess, it's all in the mind.
and the curtains fell...everything fell silent...and his peripheral vision concealed everything that was in the hall so as to reveal only the glint of her cheek! as her shoulder beaconed the slow turn of her body, far more tender than the ballerina who, minutes ago, awed the crowd, he felt the sudden beating of his heart. whether it was a beat or a thump he couldn't tell. all he was sure of was that he had never felt that way before. and when that moment came, he knew he was right. she was BEAUTY personified. "How can i let this happen?!" he thought to himself. He knew he was betraying Helene. Staring at this woman caused him greater guilt than what he felt when he kissed Betty at the ball. He struggled to shake off the feeling. But just then their eyes met. And there was that mystical moment when two beings get caught in the confusion of rapture, love and insanity clouded by the naive meekness of their stares.
it was no more than a second but to her it seemed like an eternity. "this is no different from that day i had that sculptor running after me when he saw me in my plainest clothes at Felicity's". she kept reassuring herself that she hadn't fallen prey to that feeling of attraction. that base feeling of getting attracted to a man. she is Circe reincarnate. she stuns everybody and everybody is attracted to her. but not until that moment was the attraction reciprocated. "why this boy?" instead of "who is this boy". she didn't try to answer. it was as if, all that mattered that moment was the moment. and her lips betrayed a tinge of suppressed smile. and that was a betrayal so stinging she couldn't help feeling ashamed of herself. the sweet conversation she had on the phone with Barry the other night, the promise they made, and the three years they cried and laughed themselves out together they thought they'd conquered the world, all those seemed to be a remote past. and she found herself immobile. she couldn't stand the disdain she had for herself letting the moment contain her. At the same time, she couldn't fight the surge of her emotions one little bit more she would choke. But she knew she had to go.
as she gently waded past the dense resistance of her emotions, the more she felt his presence. ha was watching the smooth flow of her pink satin gown as her bare shoulder alternated with her cheek in the their lively scuffle with the light. he never missed a single detail. until he finally realized that the gap between him and her had become a chasm. only then did he realize how intense his passion for her was. his longing to see her face one last time was no more nor less than his eagerness to feel her skin.
and she was fighting the impulse to look back but she gave in. and the second glimpse was the same euphoria she felt when she saw his face the first time. but he wasn't sure if she had looked back cuz then, she had already turned into a silhouette. and soon the silhouette was consumed by the glare of the exit.
then his eyes never stopped longing for hers and her heart started beating for his
i sit at the foot of the bed...stare blindly out the bedroom window...and smile mutely at the falling rain. i start thinking about LIFE...start wondering why i'm here...why i struggle to survive...why i want to live...only to die another day.
i'm not lonely...not depressed…and not happy either. i have no reason. i don't need any.
they say only the weak give up. you gotta struggle. but struggle for what? really...for what? i win this, i get there, i see that...and then what? tomorrow'll be another day of wanting..another day for wanting. and when the wanting stops, living becomes the greatest tragedy in LIFE itself. all are illusions. all is but a mirage. we win only to lose it some other day, we'll never really get there. we never really see anything
what is SIN? what is GUILT? when merit and conscience disappear.
what becomes of existence when the thin red line between being and non-being becomes an amalgam of indecision and unreason? what becomes of happiness when you're numb and not wanting anything anymore?
i'm not giving up, cuz there never really was any struggle. it's not over cuz nothing really began nor ought to be continued
My heart won't beat now as though it didn't beat before. Perhaps I don't wanna go back somehow, specially the time I love yore and realized that there's no open door.
I wont let it beat for you nor for somebody else coz I'm not even left with a clue that you've love somebody else and departed where you cant hear my ringing bells.
I wont let it beat for new ones who'll tell me that they love me. Soon they'll be showing true colors like nuisance and will leave me unhesitatingly when I'm so much in love and will end up morosely.
I wont let it beat now when now I'm in comfort and stake it to drown in tears. Instead of not crying I'll feel a juggernaut who'll send me back through the years when everything in me seems to be in fear.
M heart won't beat now unless I'm sure that it'll beat forever. Perhaps promises won't move me somehow so I won't be left somber and won't stop my heartbeat later.
Fellow Earthlings, specially my fellow ka-plumang pinoy, the rising tide of environmental concern is awesome and all. Question is, why can't it be earth day everyday?
Make everyday Earth day! Earth shouldn't be limited to April 22. If you want to help on my advocacy, and i guess of all the people's, please do repost this bulletin and see the difference you can make!
After all, this is a social networking profile. Let's not limit the use of our profile to flirt, but instead let's also use it for our Mother Earth!
Hey guys alam nyo na ba yung bagong feature d2 sa profile natin!Pwede na tayong kumita ng pera sa profile natin!Yes totoo 2!!Kasi nakatanggap ako ng pera in dollars!Akala ko nga noon hindi totoo.Pero 100 percent totoo pala!May video nga sila galing sa Mel and Joey.Napaka dali nga eh,mamili ka lang sa mga program nila marami kang pagpipilian doon.Pag gusto mo din sumali para maka earn ka ng pera mamili ka lang sa gitna at sa kanan yung mga programs sa "Sponsored links"
Ako namili lang ako sa mga programs dun sa "Sponsored links" kumita agad ako.Visit mo yung site para mapanood mo yung episode nila sa MEL and Joey about blogging.
Magulo ang aking paligid. bawat pagkakamali ko ay pinagpupukpukan sa aking pagmumukha. padabog akong pumasok sa aking kwarto upang pakinggan ang aking musika.
magulo ang aking musika. hindi nila maintindihan. kahit walang nota, kahit walang tugtog ngunit ito ay aking pinakikinggan. silang lahat ay ayaw makinig. silang lahat ay umaayaw sa aking tugtugin. ayaw makisabay sa aking inaawit. ayaw makinig dahil sila ay naguguluhan.
may musika akong pinakikinggan. hindi ko na ito mababago. nais ko lamang ay inyong mkinggan ang musika ko. intindihin na ako rin ay isang tao. may musika at may damdamin na dapat pakinggan.
ginugulo ko raw ang kanilang pag-iisip. pamilya ko na sariling kadugo ay ayaw na rin makinig. iba raw ang aking paniniwala.iba raw ang aking sinasamba. ako raw ay hindi makiaayon dahil sa aking pinakikinggan na musika. pinilit ko sila na ako'y intindihin at pakinggan ako kahit hindi na ang aking musika. lumalayo sila sa akin. katabi ko man sila ngunit ang aking puso ay nasa aking musika. may sarili silang musika at ako rin ay ganoon. magulo ang aking pagkatao ngunit sila rin ay magulo. subukan niyo akong pakinggan at maiintindiahn nio ang aking pagkatao.
iba na ang aking musika. iba na ang kinalakihan kong genre. iba na ang bagong sibol ng awitin. ngyon pa lang kam sinisibulan ng araw ngunit pilit nio na itong pinalulubog. ngyon pa lang dumadampi ang hangin sa amin ngunit kami ay inyong hinahadlangan. ngyon pa lang tumatama ang silahis ng araw sa aming musika ngunit kami ay inyong tinatambingan.
pakinggan niyo naman ang aming musika at kami rin ay makikiayon sa inyong tugtugin. pakinggan niyo ang aming musika at kami naman ang sasabay sa inyong ritmo. sabayan niyo kami kahit minsan at taos puso namin itong pasasalamatan.
My friends and I had a very lively talk about this last night. It's actually a very interesting conversation-slash-debate-slash-argument about love and sex. Since we are composed of two girls and a guy, the girl's side and the boy's side of the issue is well represented. Personally, and since I am a girl, premarital sex is a no-no. Of course, my guy friend contradicts my statement. We discussed what real love means, what's the role of sex in the relationship, WHEN should you engage in sex, WHO to do it with and even up to my being boyish and all (I don't know why the topic stray to my choice of clothes).
I don't really approve of premarital sex because I am a devout Catholic. Not that I don't have fantasies about it (I am still human). But I think it's too risky to engage in. There are so many things at stake, more on the girl's side than the boys'. Not just because if ever something unplanned happen, it's the girl who becomes pregnant, and the guy can just simply walk away. I'm not saying that all guys are that irresponsible, there are some who are willing to carry the burden. But if the couple is too young to carry that heavy responsibility, the burden is somehow transferred to the parents.
"If you love me, why can't we just do it"
"I love you that's why I respect you"
My generation of boys and girls are accepting premarital sex as a normal thing to do. If you love your bf/gf, sex is a way of showing it.
My argument is that there are other ways of showing love aside from sex.
Sex is not always the answer to the guy's insistence that, "If you really love me, you'll make love to me".
I repeat, sex is NOT the only expression of love.
My guy friend insisted that the couple can always use 'protection'.
I know. I listened well to my health science teacher, thank you very much.
But 'protections' are not always fool-proofed. Something, anything might and could go wrong. The only logical solution is to abstain from doing it.
"Do you expect me to be with you but I'm doing IT with someone else?"
This is the problem with guys (a guy said that to me, no offense to other guys). And also the reason why some girls, even if they don't really want to do it, just give in. They are afraid that their bf will look for someone else. Well, that's b***s***. If they can't keep their hands to themselves, then the girl is better off with someone who is not making sex the top priority in the relationship.
Another point of contention in our argument is the guys habit of checking out every woman they see with big boobs and short skirts (again, this is merely a generalization. I am not saying that ALL guys behave this way. It's just MOST do.)
I probably won't understand why they did but I guess it's the same with girls staring at handsome guys. Boys are indeed boys and girls and indeed girls.
Some do it, some don't. It's a matter of knowing yourself, thinking hard if it's really what you want, and choosing the best option. I'm not condemning those who engaged in sex, it's their decision. Just like what my cousin said, we all have our own opinions about the matter. I am merely stating my own opinion about sex and why it's not supposed to be the basis of love.
When it comes to love. I am also an amateur in that aspect. I'll give my views about it when I experience it. Because as they say (though it does not apply to all),
Hey guys alam nyo na ba yung bagong feature d2 sa profile natin!Pwede na tayong kumita ng pera sa profile natin!Yes totoo 2!!Kasi nakatanggap ako ng pera in dollars!Akala ko nga noon hindi totoo.Pero 100 percent totoo pala!May video nga sila galing sa Mel and Joey.Napaka dali nga eh,mamili ka lang sa mga program nila marami kang pagpipilian doon.Pag gusto mo din sumali para maka earn ka ng pera mamili ka lang sa gitna at sa kanan yung mga programs sa "Sponsored links"
Ako namili lang ako sa mga programs dun sa "Sponsored links" kumita agad ako.Visit mo yung site para mapanood mo yung episode nila sa MEL and Joey about blogging.
